Let me start off by saying, I’m getting married in less than two weeks, so luckily; this post no longer applies to me.  It is, however, something that plagued and baffled myself and friends growing up.

This rant is brought to you by the three teens in the gym tonight and an episode of Regular Show (hilarious cartoon on Cartoon Network).

Gym:
Boy #1 was flirting heavy with Girl #1, while Boy #2 was making fun of Boy #1.  Annoyingly, none of them were working out.  Girl #1 seemed VAGUELY interested in Boy #1, but not nearly as interested as he was in her.  Girl #1 leaves, with Boy #1 leading her out, and Boy #2 yells,”Friendzone!”.  Boy #1 comes back and laments being in the friendzone, and complains specifically about Girl #1.

Regular Show:
Almost the same exact scenario, just in cartoon form with the characters being various animals.

My Issue:
I’m tired of guys complaining about both being “friendzoned” and the ladies that put them there.  Guys, if you’re in the friendzone, it’s your fault.  There should be no “friendzone”, or rather, there should be no surprise with being friends rather than dating.  If you’re a male, interested in dating a girl, be open, honest, and upfront about your intentions.  Don’t “premedi-date”.  Meaning, don’t plan on tricking a girl into being your friend with the hidden intentions of then trying to trick them into dating you. Moreover, when all the trickery is all said and done, don’t be angry when you’re still considered a friend.

First of all, being open on the front end might get you farther than you’d expect.  There is something to be said about confidence and honesty.  Secondly, if she says no to your initial advance, and you are GENUINELY interested in being friends, let her know that and be her friend if she’s interested.  Drop all notions of trying to trick her into dating you.  If it happens, it happens, but don’t expect it.

Again, be her friend.  Not the rug she walks on.  Don’t let her use you, because it will happen.  Maybe not with all, but with most, it’s human nature.  If you wouldn’t pay for your guy friend’s movie and dinner, don’t do it for her.  If you wouldn’t wash your guy friend’s car out of the niceness of your heart, don’t do it for her.  If it takes those things for you two to actually be friends, then you’re not actually friends.  There’s a line between being a good friend and going overboard to try to win their uninterested heart over.  Guys, you may think that line is a thin line, but most girls clearly see this line as a gaping divide with you on one side and the American Eagle Model on the other.

Besides the obvious that it’s not cool to befriend someone with ulterior motives, staying out of the dreaded friendzone saves you from the hassle of being tortured by stories of other guys and having someone you want, just out of reach.  Rather than holding on with the hopes of dating, instead, open yourself up to start a relationship with someone that views you as a priority, rather than an option.  Beyond all of that, you might be surprised at how much attention someone might give you once you stop giving them attention.

Oh, and for the ladies….I know it’s tempting, easy, and confidence boosting to have a guy at your beck and call without the burden of actually dating, but be nice to these guys.  If you’re not interested, don’t string them along.